Father's Day - An Often Neglected Honor

 

Does Father's Day even matter anymore? Why do we no longer honor the original men in our lives?

 

Have you ever realized how crazy it is that we have so many holidays to celebrate on any given day in the world, and yet the vast majority are down played, swept under the rug, ignored, or disregarded as unimportant or a waste of time? 

National Donuts Day. 
National Burger Day. 
National Fried Chicken Day. 
International Day of Play. 
The list goes on. 

But there's one holiday that sits on our calendars yearly that just doesn't really hit the same... And maybe in this age it never did. That holiday is Father's Day. 

Hang in now, before the Mothers go up in arms and say "what about our day". I admit your holiday is downplayed as well, but for us, holidays that honor men and their presence are more often than not, neglected and forgotten. 

Men's Mental health day and month is one of them, overshadowed by Pride month. No snubs, just a fact. 

Think about it, where were the advertisements and speeches from celebrities that didn't have to deal with mood enhancement drugs or your favorite Healthcare organization? I'll wait, even though I know the answer. 

Hardly anyone gave a damn, and here we are almost at the end of the month. 

Why? Because the Patriarchy is deemed as the overall enemy. 

Anything with male gender and genitals is ridiculed and left to rot in the shadows of his own reflection like overripe apples. Not all of us want mass amounts of power and money, nor do we always rely on manipulation and violence to get what we want. 

There are those of us that have that mature nurturing and advising spirit. The standard bearers that wave the banner of our truth for our seeds in the midst of punishing sunlight and raging storms. 

There are those of us that have or are still doing it alone without a Queen by our side. I know... Unheard of right... And we get overlooked with a half ass 'thank you' or a sympathy call once a year along with maybe a mid-tier priced tech gift or tool from Amazon or Home Depot... 

Cause that's all men need... That's all men care about. 

And for that, society is dead wrong, puffing and passing us stale standards like laced weed leaving us slumped so much we can't think and ask ourselves the real question of why. 

Why do we forget? Why do we really neglect and Dishonor the men of honor that paved the way or even gave birth to us?

As the last surviving offspring of a Father bred from trauma as a child, I now find myself a Father and reflect on my own journey as one. 

What I hope is that mine was a better than my own Father's, though he tried to battle what took him under too little too late. 

I'm far from a perfect Father, but I strive to be present.  

To be as vice-free as possible, a feat uncommon for melanin soldiers that walk the earth like me, raised in the ghettos in the true era of boom bap rap and buildings toasted from the ground up. The era where the lack of Fathers was ever present like fifty-cent 'busta' sodas in bodegas. This forced our Mothers to play dual roles, often at the expense of them sacrificing beyond their means; terminating their own aspirations and dreams. 

But without Fathers present, there would be no US. No solid structure. No standards to carry on or overwrite in our adolescence when the time was right. No hard lessons punching us in the face of our psyche until it hurt. 

Whether we learned from their presence or their absence, our Fathers mattered because they were needed.

Hell, they are needed, because Mothers shouldn't be carrying the weight alone either. 

Of course we all know of the Fathers that add to the negative narrative by being over the top and brutal to their own children because of their own experiences as children. They force their hand trying to control as if they had a grasp on their childhood, but merely they retaliate for the lack of it all. This is how relationships shatter with the Mother of their children as well as them, and they don't realize it until it is too late; their sons and daughters older and wisps in the wind left to carry on with the notion of what a true Father shouldn't be: A high chair tyrant with a voice that carried more weight in its wrath than his own body. 

But for those of us - Men, Brothers, Sons - that are blessed to be better Fathers to our own children, I salute you this day. 

The world doesn't really sing our song anymore, so we have to often sing it for ourselves. Sometimes our kids won't even acknowledge us for the sacrifices we made to make sure they were good, but all we can do is hope that in time the sacrifices and choices we made would best prepare them for a world more complex than ours; that they wouldn't repeat the mistakes of us and those Fathers before us. 

So raise your head. Wave that banner within. You knew it was more than having a baby with a woman. It was about building a lasting legacy through thoughts, actions, and determination to withstand even the most harsh of circumstances. 

Our presence eases all around us...that's something society wont ever tell you or celebrate. You have to know it and honor yourself.

So on this day, Fathers, I thank you for being present.  

#Unskrypted #FathersDay #Fatherhood #SocietalShadows #OpenLoops