Emotions Aren't the Enemy

Human beings are complex, with so many different takes, thoughts and feelings. But without any of these, how could we live? Would we truly be safe to disregard how we think and feel?

This past week, I had to be there for a homie of mine that went through something that rocked him to his core. No - his family to it'

This past week, I had to be there for a homie of mine that went through something that rocked him to his core. No - his family to it's core.

As he was telling me what transpired with his oldest daughter, it made me think about my own children dealing with thoughts and emotions they may or may not know they have inside waiting to be expressed.

Life is a complicated thing, especially when growing up. We discover things... Experience things that change us for better or worse.

But to be able to name, understand, and address how we FEEL about said things is something that at times, we sweep under the rug.

WE sweep it under the rug because we have to live... We have to provide... We have to thrive... We have to survive.

WE sweep it under the rug because said feelings are not easy to understand.

WE sweep it under the rug because what we feel is much too difficult to process and reflect through... Even moreso difficult to express to someone we trust... If there's even someone we are willing to trust.

We living beings have the ability to feel and also express, but oftentimes we land on the extreme side of it - we express ourselves way too much, or we shut down and don't express ourselves at all.

So going back to my boy and his lady's situation with their daughter, I saw the writing on the wall. She didn't know or understand how to express what she felt at such a young age...and truth be told, not only did it nudge me about my own children who are also secluded and homeschooled without physical friends, but it reminded me of...well...me.

Deep down I have come to realize that I have difficulties with my emotions and responding accordingly to one's emotions, and that is what I want to talk about today.

So this is for those that struggle to FEEL rather than THINK. For those that use logic to dissect and explain the unexplainable. For those that have so much buried inside that a scream will either scare everyone away or no sound would come out when given a floor to deliver our message.

And I realize this may not come out how I wanted to in my head, but I am still going to say what must be said.

My Personal Struggle with Emotions

I feel like I am, for the most part, a stand up guy. I care about my people and most of the time I make myself available to hear them out, just like I did for my boy and his lady.

But when it comes to me being vulnerable and expressing how I feel about someone or something, that is where I struggle most.

I have a tendency to bottle things up until it is too much to gauge. My frustration will show in my tone of voice, and even in how I conduct business. I'll say I'm fine, but you can sense and feel in the air that I'm not okay...that I'm trying to logically overcome what I am feeling.

I don't express it because if I do I could disappoint someone, or worse yet, they will disappear.

In relationships past, present, and even the attractive flings I'd had in between, if something was done that hurt someone, I struggled to feel what they feel. In stead I'd say I understood them...but in reality I couldn't have, because I was not them.

I think in my own way I am pain adverse, so I would minimize anything that caused hurt by rationalizing wha happened.

"I get it. I understand." Would be my go to statement, but I wouldn't let their emotional moment simmer.

There'd be times where I would speak over someone who was hurt. Sometimes I would say things that were viewed as insensitive or tactless, but to me it was fine because I have a rational mind with a good heart. I thought that was justification enough to say what I say.

Quite a few of my relationships, outside of my marriage during the separation years, would end up with an emotional cataclysm because instead of feeling what they felt, I rationalized and tried to fix.

I knew what feelings were...what emotions were...what they were feeling, but I didn't feel it with them to get that deeper meaning and understanding.

The fact that it has come up more often later in life is something that I am actively reflecting on and wanting to change, especially with my children.

I don't want them to sit and not know how they feel. I don't want them to shut someone down with "I understand" when they can't relate to how the other person may be feeling at the time.

Most of all, I don't want them to NOT express what is on their minds and hearts, whether its good or bad.

Emotions and Manhood

Its no secret that there is a narrative out there that tells men essentially to fuck their feelings. To get results. To accomplish goals. To establish their empire.

This, for me growing up in the 80s and 90s in the hoods of the Bronx, we were often shown the narrative of being tough and being told to hold it down and survive. That opening up made you weaker and served no real purpose.

This was the ghetto standard in America for many years, maybe it still is in lesser numbers given the light on mental health as a whole. But we were groomed to 'push through' til we got to the end goal. We were told we couldn't take a knee because time was short, and as a Black Man in America, the mountain was stacked taller than the White Man who had everything handed to them. Our own parents either told us this, or showed us this by way of their own transgressions, using religion as a crutch until they broke down in old age from all the pressures of a life not FELT.

Add to this, at least for me, being part of the military. Being a Soldier meant tightening up my shot group, meaning how I conducted myself. Precision was Paramount, and Execution was Key. I served during the inception and the surge years during the Global War on Terrorism, and I had heard a few times how emotions got in the way of tactical excellence and key decision making skills. As Soldiers, the ultimate goal was never to feel, but to execute and win at the mission.

Clearly here, emotions were not a priority, nor were they taught in the field.

So I've had a lot of conditioning to defer from emotions...to treat it as a silent enemy. But what I learned later in life is, what we avoid or repress, comes back under pressure and decimates anything we hold dear,including ourselves.

We become pipe bombs made of flesh with the pressure to conform and perform, and our bodies keep all the scores no matter how much our masks may smile on the outside.

Our Emotions are Energy that Needs to be Released

When we hold on to what we feel, our body retains it until it reaches a capacity where it comes out often in destructive ways.

We may snap on people we care about like our friends, family, and loved ones.

We may develop aches, pains, and ailments in our minds and our bodies.

We may be so isolated to where distractions and substances become our only confidant, which in turn, does a number on our bodies and can further complicate our overall health.

This is why we MUST release our Emotions; the Energy that Requires Motion.

Pressure builds over time and causes discomfort in everything we are and do, and the end result can be catastrophic, even fatal.

Many have self harmed or taken their lives because they FELT what they could not or would not express.

Expression is what releases the pressure. Communication is the catalyst that triggers the release via expression.

I know- sometimes its easier said than done because lets be real, some people are unavailable. Others just crave the moral high ground. Others want to use your struggles as leverage to sound cool in their gossip groups. People can be diabolical at times...but if you don't have your people, you can always express how you feel in other ways.

For those that Don't have Your People

I sort of fall into this category. I have people that I can talk to, that I know would be available to listen.

However, there are very few that will relate to me. Truth be told, there's five people I know would relate in some way to what I feel or struggle to come to grips with.

But for those that may not have anyone, you can express how you feel with my non-living best friend: A Journal.

Writing is MY go to. if I don't journal how I feel or what I am thinking, I'll write a story about it to put myself in balance with my innermost self.

For those of you that aren't writers, you can sing, you can draw, you can build something.

Hell, if you feel more comfortable talking into a recorder, do that! It doesn't have to be sophisticated.

The point I am trying to make here is - CREATE something from your Emotions. So what if it isn't perfect? So what if its messy? So what if it is unfinished? So what if it reselmbes who you are...that is the point! Let the Emotions release in the form of something worthwhile.

The Bottom Line

Emotions aren't the Enemy. They shouldn't be tossed aside, ignored, or downplayed.

Emotions help us navigate our own inner world. By honoring how we feel, we acknowledge ourselves.

We have to get out of the habit of losing ourselves with detrimental distractions. The vices we turn to in order to shut out the world around us and within.

Doomscrolling is one of those go to things that do us no good. It enables suppression of what we think and feel until the pressure cooks and we let loose in an unhealthy or unsafe way.

Expression is the ket to releasing that pent up energy,in our own way, and with respect to our inner timeline. We can't rush the process, but we can't afford to hold it in or hide it either. Find your way to safely release it.

Therapy is an option and can work. Just know that it will take time for both parties to get used to one another. Pick a therapist that works for you! One that you trust.

Above even that, understand that what you are feeling right now, especially the heavy negative emotions, will process and pass. Each e

This past week, I had to be there for a homie of mine that went through something that rocked him to his core. No - his family to it's core.

As he was telling me what transpired with his oldest daughter, it made me think about my own children dealing with thoughts and emotions they may or may not know they have inside waiting to be expressed.

Life is a complicated thing, especially when growing up. We discover things... Experience things that change us for better or worse.

But to be able to name, understand, and address how we FEEL about said things is something that at times, we sweep under the rug.

WE sweep it under the rug because we have to live... We have to provide... We have to thrive... We have to survive.

WE sweep it under the rug because said feelings are not easy to understand.

WE sweep it under the rug because what we feel is much too difficult to process and reflect through... Even moreso difficult to express to someone we trust... If there's even someone we are willing to trust.

We living beings have the ability to feel and also express, but oftentimes we land on the extreme side of it - we express ourselves way too much, or we shut down and don't express ourselves at all.

So going back to my boy and his lady's situation with their daughter, I saw the writing on the wall. She didn't know or understand how to express what she felt at such a young age...and truth be told, not only did it nudge me about my own children who are also secluded and homeschooled without physical friends, but it reminded me of...well...me.

Deep down I have come to realize that I have difficulties with my emotions and responding accordingly to one's emotions, and that is what I want to talk about today.

So this is for those that struggle to FEEL rather than THINK. For those that use logic to dissect and explain the unexplainable. For those that have so much buried inside that a scream will either scare everyone away or no sound would come out when given a floor to deliver our message.

And I realize this may not come out how I wanted to in my head, but I am still going to say what must be said.

My Personal Struggle with Emotions

I feel like I am, for the most part, a stand up guy. I care about my people and most of the time I make myself available to hear them out, just like I did for my boy and his lady.

But when it comes to me being vulnerable and expressing how I feel about someone or something, that is where I struggle most.

I have a tendency to bottle things up until it is too much to gauge. My frustration will show in my tone of voice, and even in how I conduct business. I'll say I'm fine, but you can sense and feel in the air that I'm not okay...that I'm trying to logically overcome what I am feeling.

I don't express it because if I do I could disappoint someone, or worse yet, they will disappear.

In relationships past, present, and even the attractive flings I'd had in between, if something was done that hurt someone, I struggled to feel what they feel. In stead I'd say I understood them...but in reality I couldn't have, because I was not them.

I think in my own way I am pain adverse, so I would minimize anything that caused hurt by rationalizing wha happened.

"I get it. I understand." Would be my go to statement, but I wouldn't let their emotional moment simmer.

There'd be times where I would speak over someone who was hurt. Sometimes I would say things that were viewed as insensitive or tactless, but to me it was fine because I have a rational mind with a good heart. I thought that was justification enough to say what I say.

Quite a few of my relationships, outside of my marriage during the separation years, would end up with an emotional cataclysm because instead of feeling what they felt, I rationalized and tried to fix.

I knew what feelings were...what emotions were...what they were feeling, but I didn't feel it with them to get that deeper meaning and understanding.

The fact that it has come up more often later in life is something that I am actively reflecting on and wanting to change, especially with my children.

I don't want them to sit and not know how they feel. I don't want them to shut someone down with "I understand" when they can't relate to how the other person may be feeling at the time.

Most of all, I don't want them to NOT express what is on their minds and hearts, whether its good or bad.

Emotions and Manhood

Its no secret that there is a narrative out there that tells men essentially to fuck their feelings. To get results. To accomplish goals. To establish their empire.

This, for me growing up in the 80s and 90s in the hoods of the Bronx, we were often shown the narrative of being tough and being told to hold it down and survive. That opening up made you weaker and served no real purpose.

This was the ghetto standard in America for many years, maybe it still is in lesser numbers given the light on mental health as a whole. But we were groomed to 'push through' til we got to the end goal. We were told we couldn't take a knee because time was short, and as a Black Man in America, the mountain was stacked taller than the White Man who had everything handed to them. Our own parents either told us this, or showed us this by way of their own transgressions, using religion as a crutch until they broke down in old age from all the pressures of a life not FELT.

Add to this, at least for me, being part of the military. Being a Soldier meant tightening up my shot group, meaning how I conducted myself. Precision was Paramount, and Execution was Key. I served during the inception and the surge years during the Global War on Terrorism, and I had heard a few times how emotions got in the way of tactical excellence and key decision making skills. As Soldiers, the ultimate goal was never to feel, but to execute and win at the mission.

Clearly here, emotions were not a priority, nor were they taught in the field.

So I've had a lot of conditioning to defer from emotions...to treat it as a silent enemy. But what I learned later in life is, what we avoid or repress, comes back under pressure and decimates anything we hold dear,including ourselves.

We become pipe bombs made of flesh with the pressure to conform and perform, and our bodies keep all the scores no matter how much our masks may smile on the outside.

Our Emotions are Energy that Needs to be Released

When we hold on to what we feel, our body retains it until it reaches a capacity where it comes out often in destructive ways.

We may snap on people we care about like our friends, family, and loved ones.

We may develop aches, pains, and ailments in our minds and our bodies.

We may be so isolated to where distractions and substances become our only confidant, which in turn, does a number on our bodies and can further complicate our overall health.

This is why we MUST release our Emotions; the Energy that Requires Motion.

Pressure builds over time and causes discomfort in everything we are and do, and the end result can be catastrophic, even fatal.

Many have self harmed or taken their lives because they FELT what they could not or would not express.

Expression is what releases the pressure. Communication is the catalyst that triggers the release via expression.

I know- sometimes its easier said than done because lets be real, some people are unavailable. Others just crave the moral high ground. Others want to use your struggles as leverage to sound cool in their gossip groups. People can be diabolical at times...but if you don't have your people, you can always express how you feel in other ways.

For those that Don't have Your People

I sort of fall into this category. I have people that I can talk to, that I know would be available to listen.

However, there are very few that will relate to me. Truth be told, there's five people I know would relate in some way to what I feel or struggle to come to grips with.

But for those that may not have anyone, you can express how you feel with my non-living best friend: A Journal.

Writing is MY go to. if I don't journal how I feel or what I am thinking, I'll write a story about it to put myself in balance with my innermost self.

For those of you that aren't writers, you can sing, you can draw, you can build something.

Hell, if you feel more comfortable talking into a recorder, do that! It doesn't have to be sophisticated.

The point I am trying to make here is - CREATE something from your Emotions. So what if it isn't perfect? So what if its messy? So what if it is unfinished? So what if it reselmbes who you are...that is the point! Let the Emotions release in the form of something worthwhile.

The Bottom Line

Emotions aren't the Enemy. They shouldn't be tossed aside, ignored, or downplayed.

Emotions help us navigate our own inner world. By honoring how we feel, we acknowledge ourselves.

We have to get out of the habit of losing ourselves with detrimental distractions. The vices we turn to in order to shut out the world around us and within.

Doomscrolling is one of those go to things that do us no good. It enables suppression of what we think and feel until the pressure cooks and we let loose in an unhealthy or unsafe way.

Expression is the ket to releasing that pent up energy,in our own way, and with respect to our inner timeline. We can't rush the process, but we can't afford to hold it in or hide it either. Find your way to safely release it.

Therapy is an option and can work. Just know that it will take time for both parties to get used to one another. Pick a therapist that works for you! One that you trust.

Above even that, understand that what you are feeling right now, especially the heavy negative emotions, will process and pass. Each emotion is temporary, even if they feel like they occur frequently. Change is constant, and emotions aren't any different. Don't forget to have compassion for yourself as well as you feel things out.

I'm no expert here. I'm just talking about what matters in this thing called life, from my own observations and perspective. I hope that this resonated with you in some way. I know I feel a sense of relief in talking through my struggles with Emotions and my own transgressions.

I am still learning as I go, as you are too.

If you are going through something heavy, or know someone that is going through it in these trying times, know that you are not alone. If you are in need of someone to just talk or vent to, I am here as well.

May you continue to flow your way through infinity. The journey is indeed, ink.

motion is temporary, even if they feel like they occur frequently. Change is constant, and emotions aren't any different. Don't forget to have compassion for yourself as well as you feel things out.

I'm no expert here. I'm just talking about what matters in this thing called life, from my own observations and perspective. I hope that this resonated with you in some way. I know I feel a sense of relief in talking through my struggles with Emotions and my own transgressions.

I am still learning as I go, as you are too.

If you are going through something heavy, or know someone that is going through it in these trying times, know that you are not alone. If you are in need of someone to just talk or vent to, I am here as well.

May you continue to flow your way through infinity. The journey is indeed, ink.

s core.

As he was telling me what transpired with his oldest daughter, it made me think about my own children dealing with thoughts and emotions they may or may not know they have inside waiting to be expressed.

Life is a complicated thing, especially when growing up. We discover things... Experience things that change us for better or worse.

But to be able to name, understand, and address how we FEEL about said things is something that at times, we sweep under the rug.

WE sweep it under the rug because we have to live... We have to provide... We have to thrive... We have to survive.

WE sweep it under the rug because said feelings are not easy to understand.

WE sweep it under the rug because what we feel is much too difficult to process and reflect through... Even moreso difficult to express to someone we trust... If there's even someone we are willing to trust.

We living beings have the ability to feel and also express, but oftentimes we land on the extreme side of it - we express ourselves way too much, or we shut down and don't express ourselves at all.

So going back to my boy and his lady's situation with their daughter, I saw the writing on the wall. She didn't know or understand how to express what she felt at such a young age...and truth be told, not only did it nudge me about my own children who are also secluded and homeschooled without physical friends, but it reminded me of...well...me.

Deep down I have come to realize that I have difficulties with my emotions and responding accordingly to one's emotions, and that is what I want to talk about today.

So this is for those that struggle to FEEL rather than THINK. For those that use logic to dissect and explain the unexplainable. For those that have so much buried inside that a scream will either scare everyone away or no sound would come out when given a floor to deliver our message.

And I realize this may not come out how I wanted to in my head, but I am still going to say what must be said.

My Personal Struggle with Emotions

I feel like I am, for the most part, a stand up guy. I care about my people and most of the time I make myself available to hear them out, just like I did for my boy and his lady.

But when it comes to me being vulnerable and expressing how I feel about someone or something, that is where I struggle most.

I have a tendency to bottle things up until it is too much to gauge. My frustration will show in my tone of voice, and even in how I conduct business. I'll say I'm fine, but you can sense and feel in the air that I'm not okay...that I'm trying to logically overcome what I am feeling.

I don't express it because if I do I could disappoint someone, or worse yet, they will disappear.

In relationships past, present, and even the attractive flings I'd had in between, if something was done that hurt someone, I struggled to feel what they felt. Instead I'd say I understood them...but in reality I couldn't have, because I was not them.

I think in my own way I am pain adverse, so I would minimize anything that caused hurt by rationalizing what happened.

"I get it. I understand." Would be my go to statement, but I wouldn't let their emotional moment simmer.

There'd be times where I would speak over someone who was hurt. Sometimes I would say things that were viewed as insensitive or tactless, but to me, it was fine because I have a rational mind with a good heart. I thought that was justification enough to say what I say.

Quite a few of my relationships, outside of my marriage during the separation years, would end up with an emotional cataclysm because instead of feeling what they felt, I rationalized and tried to fix.

I knew what feelings were...what emotions were...what they were feeling, but I didn't feel it with them to get that deeper meaning and understanding.

The fact that it has come up more often later in life is something that I am actively reflecting on and wanting to change, especially with my children.

I don't want them to sit and not know how they feel. I don't want them to shut someone down with "I understand" when they can't relate to how the other person may be feeling at the time.

Most of all, I don't want them to NOT express what is on their minds and hearts, whether its good or bad.

Emotions and Manhood

Its no secret that there is a narrative out there that tells men essentially to fuck their feelings. To get results. To accomplish goals. To establish their empire.

This, for me growing up in the 80s and 90s in the hoods of the Bronx, we were often shown the narrative of being tough and being told to hold it down and survive. That opening up made you weaker and served no real purpose.

This was the ghetto standard in America for many years, maybe it still is in lesser numbers given the light on mental health as a whole. But we were groomed to 'push through' til we got to the end goal. We were told we couldn't take a knee because time was short, and as a Black Man in America, the mountain was stacked taller than the White Man who had everything handed to them. Our own parents either told us this, or showed us this by way of their own transgressions, using religion as a crutch until they broke down in old age from all the pressures of a life not FELT.

Add to this, at least for me, being part of the military. Being a Soldier meant tightening up my shot group, meaning how I conducted myself. Precision was Paramount, and Execution was Key. I served during the inception and the surge years during the Global War on Terrorism, and I had heard a few times how emotions got in the way of tactical excellence and key decision making skills. As Soldiers, the ultimate goal was never to feel, but to execute and win at the mission.

Clearly here, emotions were not a priority, nor were they taught in the field.

So I've had a lot of conditioning to defer from emotions...to treat it as a silent enemy. But what I learned later in life is, what we avoid or repress, comes back under pressure and decimates anything we hold dear,including ourselves.

We become pipe bombs made of flesh with the pressure to conform and perform, and our bodies keep all the scores no matter how much our masks may smile on the outside.

Our Emotions are Energy that Needs to be Released

When we hold on to what we feel, our body retains it until it reaches a capacity where it comes out often in destructive ways.

We may snap on people we care about like our friends, family, and loved ones.

We may develop aches, pains, and ailments in our minds and our bodies.

We may be so isolated to where distractions and substances become our only confidant, which in turn, does a number on our bodies and can further complicate our overall health.

This is why we MUST release our Emotions; the Energy that Requires Motion.

Pressure builds over time and causes discomfort in everything we are and do, and the end result can be catastrophic, even fatal.

Many have self harmed or taken their lives because they FELT what they could not or would not express.

Expression is what releases the pressure. Communication is the catalyst that triggers the release via expression.

I know - sometimes its easier said than done because lets be real, some people are unavailable. Others just crave the moral high ground. Others want to use your struggles as leverage to sound cool in their gossip groups. People can be diabolical at times...but if you don't have your people, you can always express how you feel in other ways.

For those that Don't have Your People

I sort of fall into this category. I have people that I can talk to, that I know would be available to listen.

However, there are very few that will relate to me. Truth be told, there's five people I know would relate in some way to what I feel or struggle to come to grips with.

But for those that may not have anyone, you can express how you feel with my non-living best friend: A Journal.

Writing is MY go to. if I don't journal how I feel or what I am thinking, I'll write a story about it to put myself in balance with my innermost self.

For those of you that aren't writers, you can sing, you can draw, you can build something.

Hell, if you feel more comfortable talking into a recorder, do that! It doesn't have to be sophisticated.

The point I am trying to make here is - CREATE something from your Emotions. So what if it isn't perfect? So what if its messy? So what if it is unfinished? So what if it reselmbes who you are...that is the point! Let the Emotions release in the form of something worthwhile.

The Bottom Line

Emotions aren't the Enemy. They shouldn't be tossed aside, ignored, or downplayed.

Emotions help us navigate our own inner world. By honoring how we feel, we acknowledge ourselves.

We have to get out of the habit of losing ourselves with detrimental distractions. The vices we turn to in order to shut out the world around us and within.

Doomscrolling is one of those go to things that do us no good. It enables suppression of what we think and feel until the pressure cooks and we let loose in an unhealthy or unsafe way.

Expression is the key to releasing that pent up energy, in our own way, and with respect to our inner timeline. We can't rush the process, but we can't afford to hold it in or hide it either. Find your way to safely release it.

Therapy is an option and can work. Just know that it will take time for both parties to get used to one another. Pick a therapist that works for you! One that you trust.

Above even that, understand that what you are feeling right now, especially the heavy negative emotions, will process and pass. Each emotion is temporary, even if they feel like they occur frequently. Change is constant, and emotions aren't any different. Don't forget to have compassion for yourself as well as you feel things out.

I'm no expert here. I'm just talking about what matters in this thing called life, from my own observations and perspective. I hope that this resonated with you in some way. I know I feel a sense of relief in talking through my struggles with Emotions and my own transgressions.

I am still learning as I go, as you are too.

If you are going through something heavy, or know someone that is going through it in these trying times, know that you are not alone. If you are in need of someone to just talk or vent to, I am here as well.

May you continue to flow your way through infinity. The journey is indeed, ink.

 

#Unskrypted #SocietalShadows #OpenLoops #Emotions #Feelings